(via evolutional)


deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

(via ilymorgannn)



nidoqueeen:

we don’t need to ask for directions, helen.

nidoqueeen:

we don’t need to ask for directions, helen.

(via tanpolarbear)


erarg:

we will never know the scale of their riches 

erarg:

we will never know the scale of their riches 

(via forgave)


exhists:

do old people masturbate

(via distraction)


(via forgave)


batdude:

 sometimes you just gotta put on a full face of makeup for no reason

(via ixnay-on-the-oddk)


meladoodle:

*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin

(via encourage)



girlwithdeathmask:

Me: *ignores boy*
Boy: *posts picture lookin good*
Me: hey sorry I was asleep what’s up 😍

(via givingblowjobs)


telapathetic:

why am i only motivated to sort my life out at 4am

(via literallymollie)


zbrexx:

zbrexx:

how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

he gave her a ring image

(via ugly)


alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

(via pride)


flewor:

"was that awkward eye contact or were we checking eachother out" - a life story

(via forgave)